Phew....
Been away from the blog for a long while...
Life has been hectic ... personally and professionally....
Personally, I took a jet coaster ride, up and down and up and down... so quickly that I hardly noticed what happened. It was like everything happened at the same time, spinning around me, and spinning me around, making me feel like throwing up.... My husband's diabetes, my own health problems, my two girls.... I didn't know how I could cope with all that but I have so far managed...
Professionally, the realization that I have been away for much too long from the circle of ELT in the outer world of my university has made me feel like I am a new comer... I have a lot to learn, a lot to catch up with...
so... this is it...
I have to start organizing my life which has been like a mess....
Friday, June 13, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Poetic me...hahaha...
As a person having more than one profession - mother, wife, teacher, counsellor, worker - I can be really busy which sometimes makes me neglect some of my 'assigned' tasks. Yet, this has never prevented me from writing poems. ... ooops.... wrong choice of the word.... because sometimes I don't WRITE poems, instead, I just say the words audibly or inaudibly... These words would simply bubble in my head for sometime before I can get to say it or write it... The invention of cell phone has facilitated me in channelling the bubbles of words from my head into the gadget ... and here's one of those in my mobile...
All I need is a space,
a space to breathe,
a space to move,
a space to think,
a space to speak,
Just a space to be me....
All I need is a space.
a space to do what I like
and to like what I do,
a space to think what I want to say
and to say what I want to think,
just a space to be myself.
All I need is a space to be me
to be myself,
all by myself,
with the presence of nobody,
nothing,
just me.
All I need is a space,
a space to breathe,
a space to move,
a space to think,
a space to speak,
Just a space to be me....
All I need is a space.
a space to do what I like
and to like what I do,
a space to think what I want to say
and to say what I want to think,
just a space to be myself.
All I need is a space to be me
to be myself,
all by myself,
with the presence of nobody,
nothing,
just me.
Friday, March 21, 2008
It's never wrong to be proud of your children
That Sunday morning, as part of our weekly rituals, we - me and my two girls - went to a traditional market in our neighbourhood, for our weekly shopping. We simply went to the sellers we've known for ages for the vegetables, chicken, meat and fish... And it was at the fish stall that this episode happened...
We were waiting to be served for the seller was paring a lot of fish that a lady was buying. Of course, in this kind of situation, a normal woman would chit-chat with others standing nearby. Since the kind of fish was rather unfamiliar in my family, I asked the lady how she's going to cook the fish. She told me that she was just going to fry it and put it in a lot of chillies, the favorite of her children, she added. Then, she looked at my two 'aides', and asked me if they were my children and if they were still studying, to which I said yes. 'Oh, where?' was her next question. And I simply said 'UI - the elder is studying psychology and the younger is economics.' She smiled broadly to my answer as she said 'my daughter is a graduate of the Faculty of Economics, Accounting Department. She's working there now, teaching." You could see the stars in her eyes, the pride of a mother when saying this. I looked at her, and then a much younger version of her crossed my mind, and I said 'You must be the mother of xxx, she looks exactly like you. I know her quite well.' 'Yes, I am. Do you really know her? Or, do you work there, too? 'Yes, I teach there, she knows me, too. It's been a while since I met her. She came to my office one day with her husband. Give her my love. please.' I said earnestly. And then she said 'It's Sunday, I expect she'll come today. That's why I need to prepare all these foods, she likes it so much. What's your name?' ' Tell her it's ibu Suli,' I told her with a smile. And then the lady told me all about her daughter and how she had made her really proud.
And ... a couple of weeks ago, my father called me, on a Monday morning, that he and my mother were coming to our place to get some Chinese medicine for my mother's osteoarthritis that someone had sent. I told him that he'd better send the driver to take the medicine to my office instead, rather than going to my place while nobody except the maid would be at home. 'In that case, we would go to Depok, then. We harvested a lot of bananas yesterday, so I think you would like some, too.' I was speechless. I mean, why would my parents go to all the troubles of taking some bananas to my office. I believed my father knew what I was feeling for he said ' I would like to see your office, a place where you work, the university where you studied and where my grandchildren are studying now...' I could hear the pride in his voice which made me choked when I said 'Oh, yes, yes.... please, if you don't mind. I'll come down as my office is on the fifth floor, I don't think Ibu could go upstairs.' I was almost in tears, how could I almost disappoint the persons who are so proud of me.
I know I am just a nobody at the university. But for my parents I am somebody important, other people just don't count if you are talking about this feeling parents have for their children. Even if they never admit it...
We were waiting to be served for the seller was paring a lot of fish that a lady was buying. Of course, in this kind of situation, a normal woman would chit-chat with others standing nearby. Since the kind of fish was rather unfamiliar in my family, I asked the lady how she's going to cook the fish. She told me that she was just going to fry it and put it in a lot of chillies, the favorite of her children, she added. Then, she looked at my two 'aides', and asked me if they were my children and if they were still studying, to which I said yes. 'Oh, where?' was her next question. And I simply said 'UI - the elder is studying psychology and the younger is economics.' She smiled broadly to my answer as she said 'my daughter is a graduate of the Faculty of Economics, Accounting Department. She's working there now, teaching." You could see the stars in her eyes, the pride of a mother when saying this. I looked at her, and then a much younger version of her crossed my mind, and I said 'You must be the mother of xxx, she looks exactly like you. I know her quite well.' 'Yes, I am. Do you really know her? Or, do you work there, too? 'Yes, I teach there, she knows me, too. It's been a while since I met her. She came to my office one day with her husband. Give her my love. please.' I said earnestly. And then she said 'It's Sunday, I expect she'll come today. That's why I need to prepare all these foods, she likes it so much. What's your name?' ' Tell her it's ibu Suli,' I told her with a smile. And then the lady told me all about her daughter and how she had made her really proud.
And ... a couple of weeks ago, my father called me, on a Monday morning, that he and my mother were coming to our place to get some Chinese medicine for my mother's osteoarthritis that someone had sent. I told him that he'd better send the driver to take the medicine to my office instead, rather than going to my place while nobody except the maid would be at home. 'In that case, we would go to Depok, then. We harvested a lot of bananas yesterday, so I think you would like some, too.' I was speechless. I mean, why would my parents go to all the troubles of taking some bananas to my office. I believed my father knew what I was feeling for he said ' I would like to see your office, a place where you work, the university where you studied and where my grandchildren are studying now...' I could hear the pride in his voice which made me choked when I said 'Oh, yes, yes.... please, if you don't mind. I'll come down as my office is on the fifth floor, I don't think Ibu could go upstairs.' I was almost in tears, how could I almost disappoint the persons who are so proud of me.
I know I am just a nobody at the university. But for my parents I am somebody important, other people just don't count if you are talking about this feeling parents have for their children. Even if they never admit it...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Fifty-one
I am turning 51 tomorrow.... there's not much that I can say except for my deepest gratitude to the Almighty for giving me the time, hence the opportunity to make the best of my life. Thank God for giving me my family who is always there whenever I need them which means all the time, for giving me a decent job from which I can earn my living and share whatever little I have with some of the needy, for giving me my parents from whom I learnt a lot about life and the time beyond now, for giving me my friends who are there to challenge and support me, for making me everything that I am now ...
God, You know that I don't have sufficient vocabulary to express all that I am feeling inside ... yet, in a single word it is 'thanks' ....
God, You know that I don't have sufficient vocabulary to express all that I am feeling inside ... yet, in a single word it is 'thanks' ....
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Life-long Learning Process
What did I know about learning?
As a child I thought that I would stop learning something when I mastered what I was learning. An example of this would be cycling. As soon as I could cycle, then I did not need to learn cycling, I would simply cycle and cycle and cycle and enjoy cycling. Or, cooking.... where - at quite an early age - I only needed to learn the names of some spices, vegetables and some basic cooking procedures and then.... cooking became something that I enjoyed. Actually I enjoyed not just the cooking process, but the 'post cooking' period especially where, after people ate the foods that I prepared, they all poured compliments ... The learning process stopped there, while the cycling and the cooking continued.
Only later in life did I learn that actually learning never stops. My English learning process, for example, it never stops. It started years ago and it continues up to the present even after I have taught English for about 30 years (I sincerely hope that this doesn't discourage my students... their English teacher is still a learner of English ..ha...!!)
The life-long learning that I am talking about here is the learning to be a mother. I never thought about this until one day my daughter asked me in bahasa Indonesia which I misunderstood. 'Bagaimana caranya jadi ibu?' was her question, to which I answered 'Simple. Get married and have your own child!' And she said in English 'No, not how to be a mother, but how to be LIKE you.' And... that made me think....
I have learned a lot of things in my motherhood life. I learned that my two kids are different, each is special in her own way. I learned that I cannot use the same 'techniques' or 'methods' to solve the same problem with the same child simply because the problem occurs in different time. I learned that the same comment about the same thing may have different result with different child. So... everyday there is always something new to learn ... and I never know whether I am going to succeed. And the teachers? My own two kids...
As a child I thought that I would stop learning something when I mastered what I was learning. An example of this would be cycling. As soon as I could cycle, then I did not need to learn cycling, I would simply cycle and cycle and cycle and enjoy cycling. Or, cooking.... where - at quite an early age - I only needed to learn the names of some spices, vegetables and some basic cooking procedures and then.... cooking became something that I enjoyed. Actually I enjoyed not just the cooking process, but the 'post cooking' period especially where, after people ate the foods that I prepared, they all poured compliments ... The learning process stopped there, while the cycling and the cooking continued.
Only later in life did I learn that actually learning never stops. My English learning process, for example, it never stops. It started years ago and it continues up to the present even after I have taught English for about 30 years (I sincerely hope that this doesn't discourage my students... their English teacher is still a learner of English ..ha...!!)
The life-long learning that I am talking about here is the learning to be a mother. I never thought about this until one day my daughter asked me in bahasa Indonesia which I misunderstood. 'Bagaimana caranya jadi ibu?' was her question, to which I answered 'Simple. Get married and have your own child!' And she said in English 'No, not how to be a mother, but how to be LIKE you.' And... that made me think....
I have learned a lot of things in my motherhood life. I learned that my two kids are different, each is special in her own way. I learned that I cannot use the same 'techniques' or 'methods' to solve the same problem with the same child simply because the problem occurs in different time. I learned that the same comment about the same thing may have different result with different child. So... everyday there is always something new to learn ... and I never know whether I am going to succeed. And the teachers? My own two kids...
Hi...this is me...
Hello ...
welcome to my blog... a blog created by my daughter for me as she wanted to introduce me to the 'wild jungle of bloggers...' hahaha...
My main occupation is being a mother of two girls aged 22 and 18, a wife of a loving hubby for over 25 years, in addition to my being an English lecturer at a state university in which I am also assigned as a student counsellor...
I don't even know if I can really spend time to write things in this blog...I mean.... my daughter should know this... for she is the one who's been complaining about my 'abandoning' her....my not spending enough time with her....
basically, I agreed to start this blog not because I want to share my 'perfect' life as a mum as definitely it's far from perfect... well... nobody's perfect anyway...
So... here I am...
welcome to my blog... a blog created by my daughter for me as she wanted to introduce me to the 'wild jungle of bloggers...' hahaha...
My main occupation is being a mother of two girls aged 22 and 18, a wife of a loving hubby for over 25 years, in addition to my being an English lecturer at a state university in which I am also assigned as a student counsellor...
I don't even know if I can really spend time to write things in this blog...I mean.... my daughter should know this... for she is the one who's been complaining about my 'abandoning' her....my not spending enough time with her....
basically, I agreed to start this blog not because I want to share my 'perfect' life as a mum as definitely it's far from perfect... well... nobody's perfect anyway...
So... here I am...
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